The Purgatory Minibus

The Gardens of Purgatory, a la Flaubert

It isn't well known, because people don't really study God as deeply as they ought to, but God drives a minibus.

It looks kind of like a Volkswagen minibus, as it should. And of course, it has peace symbols on the outside. They’re one of God's favorite symbols, and after He invented them, he proclaimed that they should be spread far and wide, especially (for reasons He does not fully explain) in the 1960s on earth. But that's God for you, always doing things on a joyful and spontaneous whim. He is very whimmy and there's absolutely no controlling Him, because he's God.

Anyway, God likes to dress up as a hippie (which is easy when you are already wearing a white robe and have long hair and a long flowing beard) and drive around in the minibus with me and The Universe in the backseat. I will admit it's hard to cram both of us back there because I’m a bit overweight due to too many snacks. The Universe often has to fold itself in half to fit back there with me and you'd be surprised how cranky it can get when it's folded in half.

This means whenever God drives us around in the minibus I embark with a sense of apprehension, because when The Universe is cranky, watch out.

Anyway, one of God’s favorite places to drive around in is the Gardens of Purgatory, which are on the  UNESCO designated list of Heavenly Heritage Sites, and of course one of the most spectacular locations in all of the cosmos.

You’d think it would be great to drive around like this, with God Himself showing all the cool sites, but the fact is that The Universe is cranky and constantly whining. This gives me an incentive to go on a diet, so there are some positives on the table, just not enough. Getting into the car with a folded universe would make anyone cranky, and it makes me cranky too.