The Flaubert Report

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The Flaubert Report
The Flaubert Report
The Great Race Ends

The Great Race Ends

The search for a little white dog

Lee van Laer's avatar
Lee van Laer
Oct 04, 2024
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The Flaubert Report
The Flaubert Report
The Great Race Ends
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OMG.

I’ve left readers hanging for SO long… unacceptable, really, but so much of life is unacceptable, after all, so why concentrate on what I have done that's unacceptable?

That itself is unacceptable, as I am sure you will agree.

I have been on sabbatical, during which the universe berated me for writing about the Teenage Years of Jesus as though the story was about me rather than Jesus. We had a big fight about it. (we have big fights about almost everything, but never mind. It is a Dog eat Universe world.) I pointed out that Jesus has already received what may be perhaps even more that his fair share of spotlight roles, top billing, hot publicity, highest honors, red carpets etc. etc. etc. and hardly needs my tell-all book to be all about him.

“In fact,” I pointed out to the Universe rather archly, “He would be the very first to say that it’s not all about Him.”

“But it IS all about Him,” said the Universe. “Without Him no one would give two shits about your book.”

“Well, they’d give ONE shit,” I countered. “I am, after all, the great Flaubert.”

“Half a shit at most,” said the Universe, “and maybe just a quarter.”

But back to le Story.

We left off with me hanging from my little claws in the saddlebag on Jesus’ camel in the midst of the race.

Chaos reigned. My brain was addled.

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