The Great Pyramid Camel Race

The Teenage Years of Jesus

On that fateful night it was Luke riding Kamal; and I should tell you right away that Kamal had his nose way out of joint, because for the first time, the charismatic and beautiful Lucille, Lucifer’s sister, had shown up and immediately took a shine to Jesus. It was kind of a reddish shine, because whenever light gets emitted around hell or its minions, it's some shade of red. I mean, it can be a nice shade of red, but it's definitely red. Anyway, Lucille liked the look of Jesus right away – it's  surprising Satan (which is short for his real name, Stan) didn't think of sending her to corrupt him and take his virginity right out of the box—that would have been so Stan of him— but Satan is very absent minded, what with all the torturing he does. He suffers an eternal state of PTSD, and doesn't always think of the most logical solution to things as a result of it. He has a Shih Tzu therapist as well— in his case, not me, I've never been assigned to Stan as a pet, thank goodness gracious. His therapist is a female Shih Tzu named Fleabelle, aka Lady of the Fleas. On whom more later, perhaps.

So Lucille was making eyes at Jesus and Kamal got really pissed off, I mean really. Which is why when Lucifer got on him to ride against the great camel Assifous, a ferocious speed demon if ever there was one, he was cranked.

When the signal was given and the flag went down, Kamal tore out of the gate like a rocket ship. Not that they had rocket ships in those days but you know what I mean. The track was literally smoking as he passed us. I’m pretty sure the smoke was a Lucifer trick; but it didn’t really matter either way.