The Flaubert Report

The Flaubert Report

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The Flaubert Report
The Flaubert Report
The Burning Bush

The Burning Bush

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Lee van Laer
May 16, 2023
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The Flaubert Report
The Flaubert Report
The Burning Bush
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I know you want to hear more about Jesus and me but I need to fill in some back story here.

Clearly there are a lot of things about the Bible you don’t know. But I, Flaubert, shall clear them up for you.

For example, Mary’s deafness (see The Piece of the Board) was not just congenital; it was genetic and inherited. The gene for it went all the way back to Moses. And that had an unexpectedly huge impact on, lot all things! life in the ocean. The Lord works in mysterious ways, he does he does he does.

The story behind that particular mysterious thing is like this. Moses and I went up on the mountain to sing some hymns and so on, because going up on the mountain is very traditional when it comes to singing hymns. Even though he was by himself, Moses lit a match and held it up in the air like everyone still does at concerts with lighters. This is actually an ancient Jewish tradition, just so you know, only back then they did it with book matches, which as you know are really short.

Moses was kind of wild in those early days. He lit the teeny book match and held it up and was singing “Go Tell it on the Mountain,” (The song predates Jesus by several millennia)  and he dropped the little match because it burnt his fingers (of course it burnt his fingers, duh) and lit a mountain bush on fire.

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