The Abbreviated Existence of Time, Part II: The organ chronobuffer

Beelzebub's Seventh Sojourn on Earth

“Well,” said the banker, inspecting the bananas more closely, “this outer layer here does not appear to contain any of that valuable substance called time. Can you sell one to me without that?”

“Ah, you are astute,” said the shopkeeper. “In fact the banana does contain almost all of the time in the cosmos; but in the peel, which we refer to as ‘eternity,’ there are a few extra minutes that were not included in the original deal but were added on, so to speak, as a protective coating after Our All-Loving Endlessly Compassionate Cosmos Creator effected His Eternally Based and Gloriously Yellow Cosmos Creation. And we can discount the banana by exactly one million dollars if you buy it without the peel.”

The banker bent over the banana and inspected it even more carefully.

It seemed some how a bit diminished when he though of it as missing even one single minute; and he realized that even though his ‘trophy wife’ and daughter would certainly never know of this very esoteric matter, he himself would feel ‘remorse of con science’ forever after if he didn’t buy the peel. This ‘remorse of con science’ is a slightly bad feeling which bankers feel after making a dirty huge fraudulent business deal. It typically presents as a skin irritation which makes them look less perfect than their expensive dental work and Italian wool suit might otherwise imply. “Remorse of con science’ thus requires daily treatment with expensive internally applied creams such as ‘champagne’ and ‘cocaine.’