JRPFM

Oh My God. Black humor warning.

DO NOT READ THIS POST IF YOU DO NOT LIKE BLACK HUMOR.

I mean black as in dark, disturbing and objectively horrible things that are not actually funny except to very sick people, like my owner empty-headed man from nowhere,

//NOT African-American humor //

which I know pretty much nothing about and cannot offer in this space.

No, this is sick-sick humor. So STOP HERE and spare yourself.

WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?

OK, it’s totally your fault from here. I SO tried to stop you.

I Flaubert have been so busy I have barely had time to jot things down in my diary.

First of all let me remark on how exciting it ISN’T for dogs to watch indictments of former presidents. I SO don’t care about this and so when I watch humans racing about getting excited over it I tend to nap a lot. Humans are nuts, that’s all I can say. Why worry about illiterate ex-presidents and the puzzling, outdated, tedious sheets of paper they keep around them when you could be napping, pooping and peeing with great satisfaction instead?

Nobody in the real world cares about ex presidents. They’re supposed to go away quietly and play golf or something, then die so a big motorcade can take place. After you leave the presidential office it is all over except the motorcade and everyone is pretty much waiting for that, your last hurrah so to speak, because they are not coming to the opening of your library. No one wants a freakin’ presidential library, stupid. People want the fancy motorcade and the coffin with the flag on it and the marching band and the 21-gun salute (being cut to 18 guns going forward due to the deficit) ; so much so that it is surprising especially with the more pathetic presidents (I won’t name names) that some impatient individual doesn’t try to, like, hurry the motorcade moment up a bit, if you know what I mean.