Jesus in Therapy, part I

The Teenage years of Jesus

While I, intrepid savior of saviors, was off in the hellish internet-scape of the 21st century, slogging through shopping malls to steal cell phones from unsuspecting old men—a crime for which I was most unfairly held accountable by God later, which proves out the adage that no good deed goes unpunished—Mary and Joseph were attempting to deal with their emotionally troubled son by other, more conventional means.

Jesus was spiritually perfect, it’s true; but significant portions of His perfection had to be disabled in order for Him to be born as a human being and objectively experience all of the Flaws, Faults, Foibles and Freakishness of humanity. In heaven these are called the 4 F’s, and anyone classified as 4F is as a rule considered unfit for anything but latrine duty. 4F’s are thus referred to as being “in the toilet,” and of course by the time God began to send Avatars to earth, all of humanity was 4F.

Of course there was even a 5th F, if you know what I mean, and humanity was sliding towards that one like an olympic luge team in a brakeless toboggan.