Interview with the Devil

We will get back to the story of Jesus's teenage years, but I promised to post some excerpts from my interview with the devil, so here we go.

After my numerous visits to hell for various and sundry reasons, not all of which were voluntary or even my own fault, I became somewhat familiar with Satan, or, “The” devil, as he is sometimes called. Nowadays I usually refer to him as Mr. Satan, especially during the course of our professional relationship.

I learned over time to respect him for who he is. After he got to know me, Satan realized that I'm a reliable and amenable sort, furthermore and perhaps most importantly a non-judgmental type, and also—and this is the over-archingly most important thing, a man… I mean dog… of letters.

My writing avocation came to Satan’s attention because of my extensive permissions to recount my life with Jesus, during which I of course also became acquainted with his long (and still) estranged son Lucifer.

Ostensibly Satan first contacted me directly to ask for news of his son’s affairs; and not being one to hold a grudge, even against one representing all the gathered and concentrated cosmological forces of unspeakable evil, I answered the call, which came, as it so often does these days, in the form of an email.

DON’T CLICK ON THE EMAIL LINK, the Universe advised me in all caps when it saw the mail; but of course it was too late; I already had, and wouldn’t you know it the email magically transferred me straight to hell, instantaneously and without so much as a by-your leave.